Free Yoga!

The concept of the “Jivan Mhukta” describes a state of no-otherness. The Jivan Mhukta is a liberated being who lives soulfully on earth, engaged in the realm of human realities. They are here, now. There is no need to escape from life, because life becomes an experience of presence, curiosity, and harmony.
For the Jivan Mhukta, yoga is freedom.

The Suicide Blog (Or, How To Keep Living When You Feel Like Dying) Pt. 2

I’ve come to understand that only a small part of my brain is sick enough to crave death. The majority of my mind can become skilled and strong enough to stop the impulse.
Developing these new capabilities requires vigilance and hard work.
Since 2018’s PTSD/flashbacks diagnosis, I’ve been engaged in a new course of mental health treatment that is training me to develop and listen to the greater, empowered, healthy part of my brain.

The Suicide Blog (Or, How To Keep Living, When You Feel Like Dying)

If you met me today, you wouldn’t guess that I tried to kill myself one year ago. You would see me teaching trauma-sensitive yoga, playing percussion at concerts, loving my Metro commutes, inhaling deeply under flowering trees. You would see my near constant smile and note my “spark of life,” my “inner light” and “glowing beauty.” You would ask about the “.02%” tattoo on my forearm and overlook the telling scar on that same wrist. You would listen to my story and call me “resilient.”

Fearless

With today’s overcast skies, the shortest day of the year is, indeed, ending early. It’s 4pm and nearly dark. Even tonight’s waxing moon will be obscured by clouds. Call it a dark night – and day – of the soul, if you wish. Winter Solstice hath arrived. (And peaks at 11:49pm EST.) Call me crazy,…

Yoga Class Focus: Gratitude Trumps Adversity

Sometimes, gratitude does not come overnight. Sometimes days, weeks and months can pass before thankfulness finds its way into a broken heart. But from experience (and lots of it), I know there will be a silver lining to every story of challenge, hardship and adversity. If you’ve read my blog before, you are familiar with…

How May I Serve You?

“For as long as space endures and the world exists, may my own existence bring about the end of suffering in the world.” – Shantideva (8th Century Indian Buddhist Scholar) *  *  * I’ve written countless blogs, posts, comments and remarks about suicide, addiction, depression and trauma. I’ve described how the power-trio of recovery programs,…

Jumping Off Of Bridges (From The UYD Archives)

19 JUNE, 2014 A couple of months ago, I heard about a California yoga teacher trainee who committed suicide. Everyone in her yoga circle was completely shocked. They said there were no signs… Last week, I received a gutsy, honest message on my Urban Yoga Den Facebook page about my “Jumping Off Of Bridges” post from March…

Jumping Off Of Bridges

Five years ago this month, I was scheduled to jump off the Ben Franklin Bridge.  I wrote it on my calendar for March 7, 2008: “Philly.”  I was planning to drive from DC to see the Irish band Hothouse Flowers, get drunk, and then jump. That February, my fiancé had broken up with me –…

Spring Break (Through)

I think I am finally back to my old self.  The one that smiles lovingly, that adores humanity, that feels her body, heart and soul energized by everything in this crazy, amazing, beautiful life. Welcome back, Holly.  Welcome back.  Stick around. Phew, what a winter!  I feel like I am waking up from a bad…

Love: Anger’s Remedy

LOVE: Brief (and maybe not so brief) explorations for our February class focus.  The final word… *  *  * So.  I’ve been getting these Ayurvedic massages.  To address the pent-up anger and stress I’ve been blogging about. Clearly, it’s working.  After last week’s session, I could not even make it to my own front door…