Last night at the Kirtan, Krishna Das told a story about a chance meeting with an elder in New Mexico. The encounter occurred long before Krishna Das’s visit to India – during which he would be profoundly transformed and become magnetized to chanting.
According to the story, Krishna Das walked into a gathering where the afore-mentioned elder immediately singled him out, pointed at him, and questioned strongly, “When will you apply yourself 100%?” Or something like that – I’m paraphrasing. But you get the point, no? I sure did.
It was as if I was being presented with a challenge.
Back in January, I decided to put my yoga biz to the side, keeping teaching and other activities to a minimum, so I could focus on searching for a full-time job in communications, my professional specialization to this point. Since then, I have been in a tug-of-war between two paths – seeking full-time communications work, and, pursuing more yoga teaching (and other part-time opportunities).
Because of this tug-of-war, neither path has been productive, effective or lucrative. I have applied for only handfuls of jobs, interviewed for just one, neglected to properly promote yoga workshops, fallen behind in blogging…and so on. So, before my recent vacation (to watch the Nationals at Spring Training – more on that later), I made a resolution to test myself upon return. The goal would be to write two yoga blogs, promote a yoga workshop and apply for five communications jobs. At the end of the week, I would choose the path where I focused the majority of my time and energy.
Then my computer broke down.
Without the internet, I’ve had plenty of time to discern, meditate, gain counsel and weigh pros/cons. Should I continue seeking full-time communications work – in a day and age where, despite decades of experience, my age and outdated credentials affect my eligibility? Or, apply myself 100% to my dream of teaching yoga, teaching percussion and performing music – while using my communications skills to promote my efforts and the activities of others in those professions?
In the meantime, a really cool part-time opportunity (which would support the dream, by the way) has arisen. So by or before April 16th, I must make my decision about my path. With my new computer hard drive and internet access, what will it be – job applications or yoga outreach?
Thanks to Athena, who triggered the “dream” articulation, and so many others who have witnessed and contributed to this discernment process. Want to share your opinion? Leave a comment here or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
When – and to what – will I apply myself 100%?