“You need good light to make a movie, is it not so? And then you need good darkness in which to show it. Isn’t that funny?” – Swami Satchidananda, founder of Integral Yoga
I have a confession: I’m scared of the dark.
Well, not “the dark,” as in a dark room, or a dark forest or dark places like that. I’m afraid of the dark-ness within me. That’s right, folks. This Diwali-celebrating, Jewish-new-year-observing, eight-limbs-of-yoga-loving gal gets sucked into the tunnels of doubt, despair and even depression at times.
Another confession: I think sometimes I try too hard to “dissolve” that darkness.
Heaven forbid I head back to that bottom mentioned in my 9/24 “Welcome to the Urban Yoga Den” entry. Even now, nearly 20 years later, when darkness taps at my door, I feel terrified. My solution? Do something. Quick. Light candles, exhale and let go, practice more rituals. Do, do, do.
Y’know all this new moon/Autumn/Diwali activity that I’ve been writing about and practicing lately? Is it healthy and positive, or is it my way of escaping the discomfort of life’s dark moments? The fact is – life hurts sometimes. The question is – should I run away by engaging in non-stop activity; or should I take a deep breath, stick around and see what happens?
I saw Where the Wild Things Are last night. When I first saw the trailer back in July, I sobbed. That kid’s pain leaped off the screen and into my chest. And when he leaped into his fantasy world…wow…without getting into the details of my childhood, let’s just say I related big-time. And that was only the trailer!
In the original Where the Wild Things Are storybook, it take Max 12 pages to travel from his bedroom forest to the wild things’ island. His journey in that little sailboat lasts “through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year.” All of that time and effort to leave the past, the pain, the ickiness behind! And in the end, where does he end up? Where the wild things are – an island of monsters.
Seems familiar to me. Hmmm.
How gratifying to finally see the film after so much anticipation. Spike Jonze hit the nail on the head. I’m getting choked up simply recalling how vividly he portrays a child’s reactions to confusion, betrayal, neglect and alienation. How a child creates a fantasy world in order to cope. How that child learns that, even in his imaginary kingdom, there is confusion, betrayal, neglect and alienation.
I’m that child. I mean right now. I’m that kid. It’s taken a while, but I’m learning that even with the warm glow of Diwali’s lights, even with the sacred space of yoga, even with the refuge of doing, doing, doing – life happens.
Monsters will always show up – on far-off islands, at home, in loved ones and within my own self. Where humans are involved, there will be pain. There will also be joy. Where reality exists, there will be darkness. And there will also be light.
So there’s nothing to be scared of after all.
“What is important for a movie? Both – light to make it; darkness to show it. The minute you learn to respect and see both sides of the coin as equally good, you can enjoy both. It is only a matter of understanding and acceptance. Let us have that light of understanding. Accept things as they are. Then, life is worth living. The world becomes a heaven on earth for you.” – Swami Satchidananda